Tuesday 20 September 2011

Interpersonal Relations - boundaries, christianity


Cloud does a good job on how to have a successful life. First, you must find what you would like to do as a career. Second, deal with problems by fixing it or eliminating it. Third, create a well thought out plan step by step all the way to reaching successs. Also think about options and see if they will hurt you or help you in the future. Fourth, be proactive, be a person of action. Fifth, be dilligent and industrious by doing something and make progress, no matter how small the progress is. Sixth, Be sure to fix what you hate in a positive way. Seventh, do not seek justice for yourself, seek rather to give mercy and forgive. Eighth, study and grow in humility. Ninth, realize that you cannot please everyone. 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life: A Psychologist Learns from His Patients What Really Works and What Doesn't

Easy-to-read content with clear, pertinent examples of each of the '9 things' we must do to experience personal and professional success. Very common sense stuff. The presentation is like concentrated orange juice: it's weighty content that most of us have heard about in a watered down manner, or we KNOW it's true, but it's in the BACK of our minds, not in the forefront. Cloud brings these significant issues to the FOREFRONT of our minds, and he makes them memorable so that they will be imprinted on our minds, if we choose to adopt them. I have a friend who can't quickly get through the book b/c the truth is hard to embrace, sometimes. This material can be VERY CHALLENGING to adopt and apply in our lives, but, I'm living a much more peaceful and fulfilling life by just applying what I've learned so far, and I'm only about 80% through the book.... It's only when we challenge ourselves that true growth takes place. Growth never comes easily.

I'm a big fan of Dr. Cloud's books, but I don't think this one is as good as his others. I don't have a moral problem with Christians observing principles that bring success, as long as those principles are biblical; Cloud is soundly grounded in scripture, even if his applications are occasionally a bit unconventional. His observations of the 9 things you must do to succeed are not entirely without interest, but I found myself skimming after about half way through. This book seems more like a quickly-written secular "how to succeed in life" book than like the profound guides to biblical personal growth I've come to expect from this author.

Dr. Henry Cloud is a clinical psychologist, radio program host, business coach, successful businessman, and author of several best selling books on self-help and spiritual matters. In this book, Nine Things you Must Simply Do To Succeed in Love and Life, Cloud draws upon his experience working with highly successful people to identify nine principles that contribute to the successes these individuals experience. Cloud refers to successful people with the term "déjà vu" because these nine characteristics show up in one way or another and brings him a since of "I've seen this before somewhere."

The nine characteristics that Dr. Cloud has identified as essential in creating a life of success are summed up as follows:



1. Dig it up: Pay attention to the hidden things of the heart and deal with them appropriately. This could refer to treasures which need to be cared for, such as desires, talents, and goals, or it could refer to trash which are things that should be dealt with rather than burying.

2. Pull the tooth: Get rid of those things that bring you down and stump your growth. This could be manifested as habits, attitudes, relationships, or behaviors that do not serve you or your life purpose. Déjà vu people discard these as quickly as possible.

3. Play the movie: Make it a habit to consider the future as a result of all your actions. Be aware of possible consequences to everything you do or do not do.

4. Do something: Déjà vu people are action oriented rather than waiting for something to happen or to sit about and complain. They take full responsibility for their lives.

5. Act like an ant: Always be moving toward your goal even if it is one grain of sand at a time. Do not look at goals as the whole, but as do-able steps.

6. Hate well: Hate is a natural part of being a human, however, déjà vu people know how to objectify their hate and use it to heal and correct rather than to destroy and break down.

7. Don't play fair: Do not live a life of tit for tat. Do not repay evil for evil. Instead, live by the golden rule and seek to bring about the higher order rather than giving back what is deserved.

8. Be humble: Strive to see feedback as a gift and do not take it offensively. Never feel that you are better than you are or better than anyone else. Déjà vu people are teachable.

9. Upset the right people: Do not be confined to making decisions based on how it will affect people around you. Be concerned about their feelings but do not allow it to add weight to your decision to do what is best.

Nine Things You Must Simply Do to be Successful in Love and Life is a "how to" manual on living a victorious life. Dr. Cloud encourages healthy doses of love and wisdom to guide our interactions with others as well as with ourselves.

It is a great book, easy to read (even for ESL me). Concept is simple and the principles are surprisingly true even though it didn't seem that way when you just read the "principle" at par on the chapter outlines. I highly recommend this book. It also has christian values in it.

I have read a lot of motivational books over the years and expected this one to be full of the same type of advice, warmed-over. I was really surprised by how good the book is. I even gave a copy as a Christmas gift to a friend who has a degree in counseling. And in my Toastmasters club, I gave a speech about this book, and one listener recommended it to her book club, and now they're reading it. The book is written in a way that grabs your attention. It's full of ideas on how to gain control of your life and how to handle relationships in a better way. - Boundaries - Relationships - Psychology - Christianity'


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